Cross My Heart,

Tell me what am I suppose to feel this time round? You know how much I feel like telling myself to not believe what others say about you this time. I thought about it. But there is nothing to prove them that you're are not like what they all said. As much as I want you to stand up for yourself, as much as I want to stand up for you. But who am I to do so? How well do I even know you to even stand up for you? I really wish I could, but I can't. And those people that are actually telling me all these are your friends that known you for years. They are not just some random strangers that just judge you like that. Even if it is the truth, lets bygones be bygones. Everybody deserve a fresh new start.

I'm not perfect,I have my flaws. And I won't judge you, because I don't want others to judge me because of my past. And I accept you for who you are. I know everyone make mistake, we screw up, but then we forgive and we move forward.I always believe in second chance. A second chance to make things right again. And at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what you had done, your past doesn't affect your future at all. 

I don't want to hear anymore about all this. I don't need to know anymore. It all doesn't matter. It doesn't hurt as much these days, the numbness is taking over and slowly. It really surprise me that we are actually still on talking terms once in a while. It is good enough. I'm keeping all texts not because I'm hoping there will be a change or whatsoever. I keeping in for the sake of the happy times. That's when I'm truly smiling, and no one can take that away. 

I don't know when will the storm be over, but I know when all these come to an end. I'm won't let myself fall for the same shit. I need a grip on myself every time I agree to take a risk and I know for sure it's going to end up with tears on my side. It will be a constant cycle and it's bound to happen again. I will be happy alone. Because I know if I ever loved someone so much again, and when it all fall apart. I might not make it. I can't survive the same kind of pain over and over again. The ache in my chest stays there for what seems like an eternity. It's easier being alone. 

But tomorrow I'll wake up to sunshine and remember to breathe. 
I'm fine without you.