Two Zero One Two.

2012 is one tough year, I go through so much, lost so much. 

This year is one heartbreaking year for me, I've never go through so much before. Starting of the year losing someone so important to me. I guess we just so dependent on each other. And in the first place we both know that things are not gonna work out. I fell, But I pick myself up again. 

T: And mid of the year, I fell again. Two weeks, that's all it took for me to fall so hard. 
I never expect a total stranger like you to actually mean so much to me. Everything seems so real, so comfortable. It didn't mean anything to anyone, but it was everything to me. I haven't felt so happy for the longest time, and I took the risk and put my heart on the line, hoping that this time, things are going to be different. But things start to change, everything start falling apart. I see the distance. The distance between both of us.

I always learning things the hard way. I fought so hard. So fought for everything I believe in you. But I was forced to give up. Give up on everything. I cried so much, I push everyone away. At the end of the day, there is no alternative. I wiped the tears and pick myself up. But after going through so much, I'm just glad to get the chance to know you and that after all these we are still friends. You taught me so much and most importantly to become a stronger person. And now, I just want you to be happy, nothing else matter more than your happiness now, even it means giving up mine. I will do it just for you. And I still strongly believe till today that you are different. Different from the rest. No one will ever make me feel like you do. 

You will always be my favorite of 2012. May 2013, be a good year for you, and you will meet someone that deserve you more than I do. That person will be so lucky to have you and I know I will never the chance to. See you when I see you again. (: 

Mommy:

The strongest woman in my life, my everything. Thank you for constantly being there for me. Not emotional but physically. HAHA. I can't imagine life without you. Being such a entertaining mom to me. 

Thank you for bringing me up and giving me the best of everything because you know you will never be able to give me a complete family. But is okay, I don't need all that. All I need is just you. I know at times I'm very hard to get along with. I might be a pain in your ass all the time especially this year. Every wednesdays, fridays and saturdays! Hahahaha. But you know no matter what I love you the most and I will never leave you. Even though you try so hard to send me overseas. I hope 2013 will be a better year for the both of us, we will get along better. Love you forever&always. 

As for my favorite girls, Rachael, Victoria&Melissa:

I'm so thankful, thankful for having them always by my side. Never once give up on me for the past three years no matter how fucked up I get. They see me in the worse state, yet they choose to stay. I believe no matter how far apart we are, and what happen in the future we will always find our way back to each other. I can just go on and on about all of them, but I shall not get started. Because there is not gonna be a end to this. Hehe. I love them oh so much. Can't wait to have more gatherings, laughters and more impromptu meetups. Sisters from another mother. (: 

Babygirl, Vanessa:

Hey baby! I don't know will you ever get to read this. But I just want to thank you for being such a big part of my life for the past six years. I never expect us to be this close for so long. Even though we each have our own life, but we never fail to make an effort to meet each other. I really appreciate that a lot. 

I know you are going through a rough patch now. And I know I might not be the best person to approach for advices since I can't even settle my own emotional issues. But I always here to lend you a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. (Okay, I might not want to lend you my shoulder, cos I don't want to see you cry!) But I'm just a call/text away. I'm very sorry that our trip to BKK failed. But no worries! We will always have our chances. I can't wait for 2013 to start, a new start for the both of us. And yes baby, no matter what, I want you to be happy with whatever decisions you gonna make. I'm always here to support. Love you my baby (:

And to all those who left me. Because of all of you, I learn how to not trust others so easily. I learn how people can just walk in and out of my life whenever the want to. I learn how to protect myself, and guard my heart. I learn how people can just wake up one day and forget about everything you had done for them. And no matter how you much you do, people like them will never appreciate it and just take it for granted. Because of all these, I had become a stronger person. I have no regrets for any decisions I made this year. Each time I fall, I learn from my lesson and eventually stand up again. Hoping that 2013 will be happier and a year with less heartache (: